ccs psychotherapy

Couples Therapy

I’m trained to listen and interact in a way that helps you get to the root of your relationship concerns. I’m deeply committed to helping couples make it through the difficult times. With this in mind I will work to help you stop your divorce now, transform your relationship sentiment from negative to positive, resolve long standing conflicts in your relationship, assure the success of the relationship you are just beginning, and/or help you articulate relationship goals and enrich your already solid marriage.

In the process of counseling with pre-marital and married couples I'm often asked how they or I will know when they’ve experienced enough counseling to ensure that things will go well. A good way to determine whether or not you need counseling and, if you are in couples therapy, when you should end counseling, is to have an understanding of what is required to build and sustain a happy, healthy relationship. In recent years researchers who study relationships and what does and does not work in couples therapy have identified a number of different factors that predict success or failure in a relationship. Almost without exception these factors, or healthy relationship ingredients as I like to call them, must be present to ensure a happy healthy relationship.

The ingredients I’m referring to are the evidence-based factors that predict success in any relationship. These factors include such things as effective communication, the ability to resolve conflicts peaceably, mutually satisfactory sexuality, compatible leisure activities, effective financial management, and supportive family and friends to mention a few. That is, if you communicate effectively, practice good problem solving methods, have similar values, have fun together, and manage money effectively, things typically go well. By going well, I mean that both individuals in the relationship will have a positive sentiment toward their partner.

The fact that I have a good understanding of the necessary ingredients for success in a relationship is good news. Why? Because I can take steps to help you systematically identify whether or not the right ingredients exist in your relationship and, if not, I can help you build these ingredients into your interactions in a way that creates a positive “relationship sentiment” toward your partner.

The concept of “relationship sentiment” (sentiment) has been explored and validated by a number of researchers. In short, sentiment is the sum total of the interpersonal transactions between people over a period of time. By transactions I mean the things you say and do that directly or indirectly impact the person you are in a relationship with. If a majority of these transactions are positive, it’s likely that a positive sentiment will exist. If they are mostly negative, it’s likely that the opposite will be true. A concept that is analogous to “sentiment” is explained by Dr Willard Harley in his book “His Needs Her Needs” where he talks about a relationship bank account (He calls it a love bank). Using this metaphor Dr Harley makes the point that if both partners make lots of deposits in their relationship bank, the account is full. That is, a positive sentiment exists. If, on the other hand, there are lots of withdrawals the account will become empty (a negative sentiment will prevail) and, if this continues, the relationship can become bankrupt.

With these ideas in mind I begin the couple counseling process by administering the computer based PREPARE/ENRICH assessment inventories which are based on a set of five inventories that help me systematically identify the strengths and weaknesses in your relationship.  This scientifically based process, which has been administered to over 4 million couples since 1980, compares your responses to the responses of thousands of psychographically similar couples as a basis for identifying deficits and assets in your relationship.  I use these findings to help you understand what’s causing your relationship problems and what you can do, together, to resolve them in a way that creates a mutually positive sentiment in your relationship. This is both a time-saving and effective method of getting the counseling process on track from the first session and ensuring that everything that is done in therapy is designed to address the root causes of your relationships issues.

To begin couples therapy, click here to set up an intake session. After you set up and confirm your appointment we will make arrangements for you and your spouse to take the Prepare-Enrich Assessment.  The results of this assessment will provide the information  needed to help you develop a plan for building a stronger and more satisfying relationship.