INTRODUCTION TO "PARENTING PLANS"

by Dr. Galen E. Cole

There’s a lot they don’t tell you when you become a parent. One thing they (in my case a nurse in the delivery room where my first child was born) did tell me is that there is no instruction book for raising children. When I heard this the first time it didn’t make sense. Surely, someone wrote an instruction manual for such an important task. After some research I discovered that many such instruction manuals have been written and most of them have included the word Parenting in the title of the book.

This process of helping a couple design, implement and refine a Parenting Plan has been duplicated many times in my practice and in my home where we’ve developed family goals and numerous plans that have helped us raise our children to adulthood. From these experiences, I’ve learned that no matter what stage of the parenting process you’re in, it’s helpful to develop a Parenting Plan that provides explicit guidance on how you will go about implementing and evaluating your parenting efforts.  I’ve observed that, almost immediately after going through the process of developing a plan for parenting, parents tend to get relief from the anxiety they are experiencing. I’ve also observed that those who conscientiously implement these plans tend to do better and need less support than those who don’t. Hence, I am convinced that every parent – especially those who are struggling with how to effectively parent teenagers – should develop and use a Parenting Plan that serves as a blueprint for their parenting labors. 

This book formalized the process I recommend by describing, in some detail, how you can develop, implement, and evaluate parenting plans that are tailored to your family structure and needs.  The book provides information and tools that will help you: increase your parenting skills, systematically implement these skills, set goals for your children that make explicit those things you want them to know, feel, and do when they become adults. It provides strategies for evaluating their performance to determine what your children know and do with regard to your family standards and outcome expectations. I’ve also provided you with guidance and tools that can be helpful in decreasing the likelihood of negative environmental influences, and increasing your likelihood of getting environmental support that reinforces your family standards and outcome expectations for each child.

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