Early in my couples therapy practice, I began hearing a recurring theme from seemingly well-matched, long-married couples: “I don’t love Jim anymore,” or “I don’t love Mary anymore.” At first, I was puzzled. These weren’t couples on the brink of divorce—they were people who had built lives together, raised families, and shared decades of memories. What was really happening? A few weeks later, a simple but profound moment clarified everything. As I was leaving church one Sunda