Yesterday, a dear friend—navigating deep family struggles—looked at me and asked, “Have you ever thought about what the purpose of life is?” Given my work as a psychotherapist, and my own share of trials over the years, I didn’t hesitate. “Yes,” I replied, “many times.” After a thoughtful pause, she pressed: “Well… what is it?” I shared what I’ve come to believe: The purpose of life is learning to become happy—even joyful—in the face of adversity. We all encounter trials. In

We’ve all heard the old environmental adage: “The solution to pollution is dilution.” In the natural world, a small amount of contaminant can be rendered harmless by dispersing it in a vast volume of clean water or air. The same principle applies powerfully to our minds. Our brains are wired with a negative bias—an evolutionary survival mechanism that keeps us alert to threats, dangers, and problems. This was essential for our ancestors dodging predators, but in modern life i

And we can change how we feel by changing our focus. The past is the past. What’s gone is gone. What’s done is done. No matter how many times you replay it in your mind, you can’t change it. We’ve all been there in our personal and professional journeys—reflecting on a major deal that fell through, a leadership role we didn’t land, a career decision we’d handle differently with today’s wisdom, or feedback that still stings years later. On a more personal level, I’ve replayed

My years of counseling couples taken together with my personal experience with marriage (my wife and I have been married for over 40 years), has taught me that for a relationship to survive and thrive, both individuals in the relationship must understand and apply the following principles. With this in mind, my purpose here is to summarize these principles in a way that will help you identify what you can do, more or less of, to adopt and apply these principles in a way that

Early in my couples therapy practice, I began hearing a recurring theme from seemingly well-matched, long-married couples: “I don’t love Jim anymore,” or “I don’t love Mary anymore.” At first, I was puzzled. These weren’t couples on the brink of divorce—they were people who had built lives together, raised families, and shared decades of memories. What was really happening? A few weeks later, a simple but profound moment clarified everything. As I was leaving church one Sunda